We had thought that we were taming the river, mastering the rapids—making progress. The stern confidence we affected as the water tore against our face, our firm yet exhilaratingly tenuous grip on the oars—these were taken as proof of our merit: “We are up to this task! We deserve this task!”

     But this day is different; we see the waters for what they are: not a river, no, but an ocean! Our battle with the rapids was just the battery of the tides—our “progress” has been a sham; and the cool, serious look which once posited its possessor as worthy of this illusory challenge has now turned against itself and become our humiliation.